I am not defined by stereotypes.
People just love to judge and label.
What is wrong with having a love for Musical Theater?
Why are you automatically branded as someone who is 'annoying' or 'loves themselves' because they like to get up on stage and perform and do something they love? Expressing a passion is nothing to hate someone for.
In school, this was very much something I was faced with. 'Oh she's like girl who likes to sing'. It is something that is never taken seriously. When you say to someone you want to be a performer and go to a performing arts college, they just laugh and say, 'that's not realistic' or 'yeah that's really cool, you should definitely have a back up plan though, because that never works out'.
'THAT'S NOT A PROPER JOB'
The nation watches television and likes to sing along to the radio in the car. Those people are performing just like people perform on stage, but nothing is said about the people who perform on coronation street. Most of those people have been and trained at a performing arts college, or a drama school and spent most of there life dedicating their life to make them the best performer they can be.
The performing arts industry is one of the hardest in the world. You could be the most talented girl in the room, but if you are too big or too small or 'don't look right' you have absolutely no chance at getting that role. Choosing looks over personality, talent and work ethic is unfair and can really knock someone back. You can start comparing yourself, questioning yourself.
With that being said, I absolutely love to perform, so obviously I decided to audition for drama schools in London, Glasgow and Liverpool.
This was one of the hardest experiences in my life.
You are placed in a room full of girls, who are skinnier than you, who are a better dancer than you, and you have to compete against these people for one of the 30 places that they give to people every year. You are nothing but a number to the panel. You have spent hours and hours preparing your material and they here 3 minutes of it and that is what your entire future is based on.
You have this little part of you who is so confident in your ability and your like, 'yes I've got this. I'm a way better singer than her' and then you are knocked straight back when the next girl comes up. Over the course of 4 months, I did 4 auditions, 2 recalls, 1 interview and in the end didn't get into any of the courses I applied for or could afford. At this time I was heartbroken. This had been my dream for as long as I can remember, and now I can't do it.
I was so upset over this for so long. I would go backwards and forwards of 'why am I not good enough for these schools?' I work/worked so hard towards doing those auditions, and have been for most of my life through my love of performing. It was well and truly heartbroken. Could it be i just didn’t fit their stereotype?
Life goes on, and all of sudden I just had a revelation, and I thought 'do you know what, I am actually good enough'. The fact that none of those drama schools didn't give me the offer that I wanted doesn't mean that I am not a good performer. I am not defined by those auditions, I am not defined by their expectations of looks or image.
I really wish more people would go into their auditions with an open mind and just think no matter what happens I am good enough. It is just those three people sat behind that panel that have thought you aren't right for that school. That DOES NOT DEFINE who or what you are as a performer and whether you are good enough or not. Never ever give up on it, if it's your dream keep going and keep trying because YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
I am going to get there, I will keep singing and keep doing what I love until I am where I want to be, and you have to as well!
You’ve got a lot of people to prove wrong, I intend to start doing that now.